{"id":1179,"date":"2014-01-19T02:05:41","date_gmt":"2014-01-19T02:05:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hordinerconsulting.com\/?page_id=1179"},"modified":"2018-10-21T03:17:02","modified_gmt":"2018-10-21T03:17:02","slug":"relationships","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/hordinerconsulting.com\/?page_id=1179","title":{"rendered":"Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

All learning takes place within a web of relationships.\u00a0 An early childhood setting includes three core relationships: educator-child, child-child, and educator-parent.\u00a0 And many classrooms also include a relationship between educators.\u00a0 The quality of these relationships greatly impacts learning.\u00a0 A positive web of relationships — characterized by trust, love, and respect — increases the likelihood of educational success across all domains.\u00a0 At the heart of learning are the relationships we nurture.
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EDUCATOR AND CHILD<\/span><\/p>\n

Trust, Love, and Learning<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Trust and love are the foundation of any positive relationship.<\/p>\n

An educator elicits a child\u2019s trust by (1) caring about the child\u2019s well-being (2) maintaining consistency and predictability (3) believing in the child. First, children who feel cared for and whose basic needs are met, including the need to express their own ideas, build trust.\u00a0 Second, educators who maintain consistent and predictable classroom routines and limits give children the stability they need to feel comfortable and confident to explore their surroundings.\u00a0 A strong feeling of dependence enables a child to experience independence.\u00a0 Third, believing in children helps them to believe in themselves which, in turn, makes it easier to trust others.\u00a0 This gift of trust is perhaps the greatest gift an educator can give a child.<\/p>\n

An educator elicits a child’s love by loving the child unconditionally, by loving the child regardless of what the child feels, says, or does.\u00a0 Such an educator will take responsibility for the well-being of that child as if he or she were her own child.\u00a0 When a child feels loved (and taken care of) by an educator, this sparks the child\u2019s love toward the educator, as it says in\u00a0Mishlei<\/em>\u00a0(Proverbs) \u201cAs in water, face reflects face, [so does the heart of man to man]\u201d.\u00a0 The greater a child\u2019s love toward an educator, the greater the child\u2019s potential and desire for learning, for positive feelings enable the child to become more open to the educator\u2019s influence.<\/p>\n

BETWEEN CHILDREN<\/span><\/p>\n

Connecting through Conflict<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Conflict is an opportunity to connect more deeply with another person.\u00a0 And children are no exception.\u00a0 When children work through conflict in a positive manner this nurtures trust and love.\u00a0 There are four feelings children need to experience during any conflict (usually these feelings build upon one another) so the conflict will become a source of strength for both the individual children and the relationship.<\/p>\n

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  1. Both children need to feel safe.<\/span> Children feel safe when a caregiver is present.\u00a0 Words of comfort may also be needed.\u00a0 A simple \u201cAre you okay?\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m here to help\u201d can work.\u00a0 If there is a \u201cvictim\u201d, the caregiver should always approach that child first.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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    1. Both children need to feel heard, acknowledged, and understood<\/span>. The caregiver needs to listen carefully to each child, ideally at eye level, to acknowledge and grasp what each is feeling and how each perceives the situation at hand. \u00a0This attention and validation prepares the groundwork for a solution.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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      1. Both children need to feel hopeful that the conflict can and will be resolved<\/span>. Optimism is a transformative power. \u00a0Optimism helps us to see the potential within people and situations rather than the focusing on limitations.\u00a0 Positive expectations help a child to feel more confident to resolve a conflict (e.g. \u201cI\u2019m confident you can both work this out\u201d).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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        1. Both children need to feel empowered to solve the problem<\/span>. \u00a0A child\u2019s role in problem-solving will depend on age and ability, but they should not feel passive (i.e. that the adult is solving the problem for them).\u00a0 For example, saying to Jordan who just grabbed a doll from Sasha, \u201cSasha will give you a turn when she\u2019s finished\u201d (1) reassures Jordan that he will have a turn after Sasha finishes playing and thus encourages him to give it back (2) gives Sasha the confidence to offer a turn once she\u2019s finished (3) gives both children a feeling of shared problem-solving and mutual accomplishment.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          EDUCATOR AND PARENT<\/p>\n

          Parents as Partners<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

          That parent<\/i> and partner<\/i> share the same letters reminds us of the importance of nurturing the educator-parent relationship.\u00a0 The primary beneficiary of this partnership is the child.\u00a0 Educators and parents can help each other gain a deeper understanding of the child to be able to educate the child in a more effective manner.\u00a0 As Barbara Biber writes, \u201c\u2026the child lives one life.\u00a0 He does not shed his home self when he enters the school door.\u00a0 It should not be possible for him to leave his school self out on the front porch when he returns home.\u201d<\/p>\n

          Since parents and children are typically experienced as a unit, a positive relationship between educator and parent generally engenders positive feelings from the educator toward the child.\u00a0 Moreover, the closer a family feels to an educator, the closer the child will feel toward the educator (and to the school), for children\u2019s feelings toward others tend to reflect the feelings of their parents.\u00a0 Lastly, when a family feels close to an educator, the family is more likely to share information about home life and solicit help problem-solving particular challenges facing the child or family.<\/p>\n

          Strengthening Home-School Communication<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

          Before discussing effective communication methods, we first need to consider how we as educators feel toward parents in our classroom.\u00a0 Are we accepting, loving, and supportive?\u00a0 Are we respectful?\u00a0 Do we listen without passing judgment?\u00a0 And how do parents feel about us?\u00a0 Do they trust us?\u00a0 Do we keep conversations confidential?\u00a0 Do we use positive language when discussing their children?\u00a0 Are we sincerely interested in collaboration or are we just trying to get our way?\u00a0 Once we have established the right emotional tone to the relationship, then we can be effective communicators.<\/p>\n

          Sharing News<\/em><\/p>\n

          There are three things all parents need to know:<\/p>\n